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Air Leo/Transcript
This is a complete transcript of the episode Air Leo. Category:Season 1 Category:Season 1 Transcripts TranscriptCategory:Transcripts Leo: Hey, Janelle, how about that lunch special today? Janelle: Really? That's your opener? Leo: Well, I was gonna go with "Where have you been all my life?" but I'm only, like, 14, so... What are you up to? Janelle: I'm signing people up for the annual one-on-one basketball tourney. Leo: Ew. How'd you get stuck doing that? Janelle: I love basketball. Leo: Me, too! I too love the basketball. In fact, they call me "Hoop Master Leo." Janelle: No, they don't. Leo: No, they don't. Hey, check this out. Where'd that come from? Who threw that? Janelle: Oh, hey, do you wanna sign up for the one-on-one tourney? We need people badly. Leo: Oh. Sign me up. Janelle: Not that badly. Trent: One-on-one tourney? Don't you mean "The Trent Show"? Starring Trent... With a special appearance by... Trent. Janelle: Trent, you're the five-time champ. I already signed you up. Leo: You've been in high school for five years? Trent: No. Yeah. Hey, little guy.. .think fast! ( laughs ) Leo: Okay, you got me. Trent: Ah, that never gets old. Leo: Yes. Yes, it does. Janelle: No one's signing up for the tournament because he wins every year. Leo: Oh, look how sweet. He's autographing that kid's cheek. Trent: I am literally all up in your face. And I used his freckle to dot the "I." ( blows ) Leo: If he just spelt "Trent" with an "I," he's gonna be here a lot longer than five years. . . . Leo: And no matter what I do, Trent always makes me look like a fool in front of Janelle. Chase: Well, he does get a little help from you in that area. ( laughs sarcastically ) Leo: '''How awesome would it be if I could beat him in that basketball tournament? That would impress her. ( beeps ) '''Chase: Wait a second. Leo: Uh-oh, you just turned on that Chase I'm-smarter-than-you-and-I-have-a-big-idea light-bulb face! It's not your best look, by the way. Chase: Davenport has been working on an anti-gravity high-top sneaker for astronaut training. Maybe the sneaker's will up your game with a few gravity-defying slam dunks. Leo: Chase, not to play the obvious card, but there is no way my compact kickers are gonna fit into those shoe canoes. Chase: Just put 'em on. Leo: Whoa! Oh, yeah, baby! ( chuckles ) Leo: Whoa! Whoa! ( laughs ) Leo: Say hello to Air Leo! Chase: Now for the real test. . . . Leo: Yes! Did you see that? I don't need these shoes. That was all me. Watch. ( grunts ) ( laughs ) Leo: Okay, it was the shoes. . . . Bree: Ready? Okay! We're dynamite! We're dynamite! We're tick-tick-tick-tick-boom! Dynamite! We're boom! Dynamite! Whoo! Boom! Boom! ( panting ) Adam: '''Bree, you scared me! I thought you blew up! '''Bree: No, I was practicing my cheer. Adam: Oh, you mean... tick-tick-tick-tick-boom! We're dynamite! We're boom! Also, what is boom dynamite? I'm all excited and I don't even know what it is! Bree: Adam, that's the beauty of cheerleading. You don't have to think. Adam: Then it's perfect for me! I cannot wait for tryouts. Bree: Wait, you're trying out? Adam: Duh, you just saw my mad tick-boom-pow skills. Pow! That's the "pow" part. Bree: You can't try out for cheerleading. That's my thing. And besides, there's only one spot open on the squad, and you do not wanna compete against me. Adam: Yes, I do. See, cheerleading is one of the few sports that isn't competitive enough to raise my adrenaline and make me glitch out. So primp up your pompoms, Girly, 'cause I'm about to...Be aggressive! Be-e aggressive! ( chuckles ) Adam: Again, I'm all excited and I don't even know why! . . . Trent: Attention, everyone! Trent is now in session! All bow to the honorable Trent! Is there anyone brave enough to challenge me in the tourney yet? Oh, I've got an itch to crush a dream or two. Who's gonna be my ointment? Chase: Ladies and gentlemen... If I may have your attention, I present to you the soon-to-be champion of the one-on-one basketball tourney-- Dunkin' Leo Dooley! ( imitates crowd roar ) Leo: Will assist, flick a wrist, win the game, and pump a fist! You think it'll go down smoothly? Well, you've never played a champ like Dooley! Yes, that just happened! ( cheering and applause ) Trent: Oh, yeah? Well, I'm the dude who's gonna... ( mumbling ) Trent: Somebody give me some words that rhyme! Janelle: Leo, what are you doing? Chase: He is signing up for the Hoop-A Palooza. Don't miss the event of the school year, where Trent will be destroyed by a scrawny underdog 1/16th his size! Leo: Laying it on a little thick, aren't ya? Here. Janelle: Let me help you with that. Leo: Hey! I wanna sign up! I can play ball! Chase: He can play ball! Leo: I've been practicing. Chase: He has been practicing! Leo: Miracles do happen. Chase: Miracles do hap-- Leo: Stop! Stop it! Trent: Yeah, stop it! I wanna play! Janelle: Okay, fine. Trent, I guess you finally have an opponent-- Leo. Trent: I'll see you on the court. And try not to be so short. Just rhymed! Janelle: Leo, you don't have to do this. Leo: I don't have to do a lot of things, Janelle. Janelle: I don't know what that means. Leo: Neither do I. . . . Bree: No! No! Adam: Please, please, please? Bree: '''Okay, fine! '''Adam: Yes! Bree: I'll think of a number between one and five and if you guess it right, you can try out before me. Adam: Hmm... Four! Bree: Nope, you lose. Adam: How do you always win that game? Stephanie: Next we have Riley, Bella, Olive, Siri, and Tommy. Uh, that's a no. No. Never. Nice try. And... You might wanna think about tennis. Bye! Totes thanks for coming! Next we have Adam and Bree. Ugh, they got two points for lame names. And cheer. Both: We're dynamite! We're dynamite! We're tick-tick-tick-- Stephanie: Okay, okay, I've heard enough. Better luck next year. And welcome to the squad! Oh, pinky hug. Bree: How is that possible?! He spent all morning wearing my pompoms as a wig! Adam: Oh, not a wig! Secret agent disguise. Stephanie: We need someone to catch us when we dismantle the pyramid. There have been a few problems. It's ironic 'cause she's a total pain in the neck. ( gasps ) Stephanie: See ya at rehearsal! Him, not you. . . . Trent: It's almost tournament time, boys! I'm going nerd shopping! Oh, nice! Spearmint's my fav, bro. Oh, you guys, who's behind this? I love a big logo. You have nothing that I want. ( sighs ) Trent: What'cha hidin' there? Chase: Nothin'. How ya doing, Trent? Trent: Oh! These are some cool kicks! Thanks for donating to the Trent-Likes-Your-Stuff fund! Chase: Trent, those are Leo's. You-you can't-- Trent: Well, not anymore. Chase: They're not even your size. Yet they fit perfectly. Trent: Thank you for providing me with the proper footwear to kick your friend's butt. . . . Chase: We have a major problem. Trent stole your sneakers. Leo: No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Chase: Calm down, calm down, calm down. Let's look at the bright side. Leo: What's the bright side? Chase: He is gonna kick your butt much faster now. . . . Janelle: All right, 30 seconds 'til game time. Trent's got first ball. Leo: Trent is wearing my sneakers! What am I supposed to do?! Chase: Run. Run far, far away. Cry like a baby and hope for sympathy. Fake a cramp! Leo: Is that all you've got? Where's that unattractive light-bulb face when I need it? Oh, there it is. Chase: I'll be right back. Stall. Janelle: All right, play to 11. Best two out of three games wins. Leo: Wait, wait, wait, wait. How many is that? Janelle: Two out of three. Leo: Okay, so somebody wins three then... Janelle: No, Leo. It's two out of three. Leo: Wait, is it two or is it three-- ( whistle blows ) Trent: Game on! Oh! These shoes are so springy! They're the best things I've swiped all day! Leo: Oh! Charlie horse! Trent: Oh, what a faker. Walk it off. Leo: Aah! Double Charlie horse! . . . Stephanie: Ready? Okay! Adam: Two, four, six, seven, who do we appreciate?! Stephanie: That was great, Adam. My favorite part was when you stopped talking. Adam: Aw. Stephanie: Now get ready. We're about to perform at the Hoop-A Palooza, and I don't need to tell you how important this is. This is important. Adam: Got it. Hey, look, I know I took the last spot on the squad, but do you think you could make room for my sister Bree? I think she's kinda mad at me. Stephanie: Yeah, not gonna happen. If we let her join, she won't feel the true sting of rejection. And I generously try to give everyone that experience. Girls, come look at this. Ew. She looks like my pet pug when I paint her paw nails against her will. ( all laugh ) Adam: Hey, stop talking about my sister like that. Stephanie: Um, I'm cheer captain. I talk, you listen. Adam: No, when it comes to defending my sister, I'm gonna talk all I want. In fact, I quit the squad. Hey, back off, neck brace! Those babies are mine! Trent: Game one, shut out! How 'bout a shout-out for the shut-out?! Hoo! Still rhymin'! Bree: Shouldn't you be off somewhere juggling airheads? Adam: Yeah, but I quit the squad. Bree: What? Why? Adam: I can't say why because it'll hurt your feelings that they were making fun of you. Bree: Wait, you quit the team because they were making fun of me? Adam: I just told you I can't say that. Bree: Adam, we have moves that are way better than anything they have. We should just do our own cheer! Adam: Oh, good idea! We'll see how they like it when we hit 'em with the Turbo Booty Shake! . . . Leo: Where have you been? I tried stalling, but I ran out of injuries to fake. Chase: The compound in the sneakers is highly susceptible to electron beams. So I ran home and got these electron-beam generators from the lab. Leo: And those will mess up the shoes? Chase: Mm-hmm. Say hello to "attract" and "repel." I'll make Trent dance like a puppet. If I were less mature, I'd evil laugh. ( laughs evilly ) . . . Janelle: Okay, first player to score 11 points wins the second game. Go! ( blows whistle ) ( crowd cheering ) Trent: Whoa! ( crowd cheering ) Trent: Oh! Did You see my hang time on that one?! I'm even greater than I thought! ( beeps ) Trent: Whoa! Nice try. Wha-? What is this?! What is this-- What is this magic?! ( laughs ) Adam: Hey! You're not a cheerleader! Quit stealing our boom-pow! ( laughs ) Trent: Hey! Stop laughing at me! I'm supposed to laugh at you! ( laughing ) Trent: What--? What is this?! ( beeping ) Janelle: What are you doing? Chase: I am... cheering. Go, Leo! ( sighs ) Trent: I want my old shoes back! Janelle: Okay, since Trent left the court, I guess game two goes to Leo. ( cheering and applause ) Leo: That's right! Leo, me, winner! Small's the new tall, y'all! Bam! ( cheering and applause ) . . . Stephanie: Go, Dingoes! ( all cheering ) Stephanie: Ugh, move back! I'm in front! Ready? Okay! All: We're dynamite! We're dynamite! We're tick-tick-tick-tick-boom! Dynamite! Adam & Bree: Cheer bomb! Adam: Oh-ho-ho! Oh, Stephanie, can you do that? No, I didn't think so! ( laughs ) Bree: Whoo! Adam: Whoo! Bree: Ready? Okay! Ooh, what's that? What do I see? Bree cheers better than Stephanie! Adam: Hold up there! Not so fast! Stephanie's a thing of the past! Both: Better call your mom! It's a cheer bomb! Huh! Adam: Ring, ring! Hello? Oh, it's your mom! Bree: Hey there, mom! It's a cheer bomb! Adam: Whoa... Both: Cheer bomb! Bree: Whoo! Uh... Yeah, that's right. Special effects. When we say "boom," we mean boom! Adam: Yeah, and when we say "brunch," we mean a delicious combination of breakfast and lunch! ( cheering and applause ) . . . Janelle: Did you have anything to do with that little display of Dancing with the Jocks? Leo: What makes you think that I would be responsible for giving Trent his comeuppance for always picking on smaller, smarter, cuter people? Chase: '''Yeah, not Leo. Nope. ( ( laughs evilly ) '''Janelle: '''You're right, it's crazy to think the guy with the inventor dad and genius brother would somehow use electron beams to manipulate Trent's shows so you'd win. '''Leo: Don't be ridiculous. ( crash ) Leo: Huh. Will you look at that. Chase: Good luck, buddy. Janelle: Leo... You know why I can't stand Trent? Because all he does is make people look bad. And now you're doing the exact same thing. ( sighs ) Leo: I guess there's only one thing left to do. Chase: Yep, I agree. Leo: Get out there and lose fair and square. Chase: What?! No! That's a terrible idea! I was gonna say slip out the back door. Leo: Okay, let's finish this thing. And this time, you're getting the real Leo. Janelle: Okay. First one to 11 wins. Good luck, Leo. Trent: ( mocking ) Good luck, Leo. ( blows whistle ) ( crowd cheering ) ( sighs ) Janelle: Come on, Leo. Don't give up. ( chanting ) Leo! Leo! ( all chanting ) All: Leo! Leo! Leo! ( grunts ) ( cheering and applause ) Leo: Yes! I did it! I scored a point! That was nothing but net! And rim and backboard, but it went in! Trent: Yes! Winner, right here! I'll be signing foreheads in the hallway! Janelle: Leo, you may have lost, but that shot was awesome! And you did it on your own, without any gimmicks or gadgets. Leo: Nope, I just relied on the other "G"-- Greatness! . . . Adam & Bree: Chase! Chase! He's our man! Typing on the keyboard like no one can! Chase! Chase! He's ou-- Chase: Guys. Guys! Do you really have to do that? It is so annoying! Bree: Chase, you don't understand. It's part of our creative process and you're our muse. Adam: In your shoes. ( gasps ) Shaking your head like you got bad news! Bree: Don't just sit there, clap and cheer! Adam: You can't be a downer ever day of the year! Chase: Sto-- Stop! Bree: Chase is sad. Adam: Chase is mad. Both: '''Chase needs a cheer to make him glad! '''Bree: Whoo! Chase! Both: Chase! He's our man!